21. Your Metabolism Isn't What It Used To Be
Binging on cakes and crisps is no longer an option unless you want to end up like one of those hopelessly obese people on Super Size Vs Super Skinny. And eating fruit and vegetables is way more important now than it was when you were 15. Why? Your metabolism, which you assumed would burn off all those calories for your whole life, seems to have gone into semi-retirement. You used to be so thin and spry. Now you're bloated when you eat too much cheese, can only have two Ferrero Rochers instead of 20, and have to actually go jogging now and then to maintain what you tell yourself is a thigh gap (but actually it's you sitting with your legs marginally apart).