27 Common Misconceptions You Have About Drinking

10. A Strong Cup Of Coffee Will Straighten You Out

After our harsh lessons on the subject of energy drinks and whiz, this should be a no brainer - but there are those amongst us who do, in fact, have no brains, so here it is. A strong cup of coffee cannot sober you up. Two cups won't do the trick either. Starbucks is not some magical elixir with the power to get you right in time to go to work/see your gran/get married. Exercise will not help. Neither will a cold shower. Or fresh air, or food. Only time will lessen the effect of alcohol on you, and at the rate of around one unit an hour. This is why session drinkers don't seem to ever pass out, throw up etc - they're steadily drinking over the course of a day or afternoon, not knocking back spirits like teenagers with a death wish.

9. Coffee Definitely Helps With The Hangover Though

You know what else coffee won't help with? The morning after the night before. That's right, the most famous hangover cure of all time is rubbish for hangovers. The majority of your problem the next day is going to be the effects of dehydration: well, coffee is a diuretic, meaning that, just like alcohol, it increases the amount you need to urinate, and keeps you dehydrated - especially at the levels that people guzzle coffee to kill a hangover (or its bigger, nastier sibling, the doomover). It might perk you up enough to get to work, but you'll actually feel much worse for it in the long run - hence why you feel like salty, nefarious death around eleven o'clock.

8. Okay - But I've Got The Perfect Hangover Cure

Sorry, but you really don't. Most hangover cures are old wives' tales. Drinking raw eggs, trying to sweat it out, overindulging in exercise, throwing back vitamins - whatever your old nan used to tell you, or your mates at uni used to swear by, is almost certain to be highly imaginative rubbish. Some of them will actually do more harm than good: you don't want to tax your poor, suffering corpse more than you already have, surely?

7. Actually I Meant Hair Of The Dog

No. No. No no no no no. You can't cure a hangover by drinking more the next day. Surely you know this? Not only is there no science backing this up, there's no common sense, either. Honestly, it's like talking to a piece of cheese with you people.