8. The Phone-Enthusiasts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr0vYfPVzH4 As is evident throughout society these days, if its not being seen through a phone-screen, it didnt happen. Now we havent gone completely mad just yet, people arent filming the film theyre sitting in just to watch it back later, but theres always some nutter within your peripheral vision who cant possibly be away from their friends' discussion for more than a couple of hours, and instead is checking their phone in the middle of a darkened room. Like a gigantic beacon illuminating their clueless expression for all to see, as well as drawing attention to precisely where the person is sitting, should we ever implement some sort of cinema security with long-range tasers, taking these fools out within a few seconds of awareness would be effortless. Then you have that rare individual who will actually take a call in a cinema. A phone call, a flexing of the vocal chords. In a cinema, the only place other than a graveyard where silence is demanded. Though I havent witnessed this rare cretin in quite some time, so etched into my memory-banks is the viewing of Spider-Man 3 that I remember it as if it was yesterday. Theres not much more to say about this sort of person, theyre too far gone anyway, but sufficed to say if you come across such a creature, report them on site and suggest the taser idea while youre on.