Attacker - Zlatan Ibrahimovic
It takes a lot of confidence to pull off long-hair, especially if you prefer to scrape it back into a fetching ponytail. Apparently, noone tells Zlatan Ibrahimovic what he looks like in case he goes off in one of those legendary sulks, so I feel some responsibility to tell him now. Zlatan, you might be a surprisingly elegant footballer, but you look ridiculous.
Attacker - Dirk Kuyt
Jesus wept. No amount of hair gel will ever hide the fact that ex-Liverpool player Kuyt looks suspiciously like Lotney "Sloth" Fratelli - something not helped by his apparent lack of eyebrows.
Attacker - Wayne Rooney
He might be an excellent player (though one whose impact seems to be being diluted by Sir Alex's decision to force him to play too deep for Man Utd), and have a beautiful wife, but he's far from a looker. In the words of the excellent Dara O'Briain, England's greatest hope has the kind of head that the Irish would be proud of - and that is not a compliment. Now, head up Wayne, just in case the light catches that dodgy hair transplant... Definite competition winners right there. What do you think? Have we missed any choice pugs from this year's tournament? Share your thoughts below.