Star Trek: 10 Things You Should Know Before Applying To Starfleet Academy

So, you're thinking of applying to Starfleet Academy. It's an option considered by many of those coming of age across the Federation and beyond. Perhaps you're at Zefram Cochrane High School and fancy becoming a statue yourself one day, or maybe your parents have been breathing down your neck to join since you were old enough to use an LCARS interface.

Starfleet Academy offers a four-year training programme for all those seeking a career in space, producing as many legends as it has lawbreakers over the years. Its main campus is situated just north of San Francisco on Earth, with additional campuses across the planet and on over 80 worlds throughout the Federation.

Given the recent fleet-wide Frontier Day fiasco, you might be worried that signing up will get you assimilated by transporter or replaced by a vengeful changeling. The Galaxy Truth Network (GTN) has been told that Starfleet Medical is rushing together a solution! There might be plenty of rewards, but risk has always been Starfleet's business. Don't say we didn't warn you!

Using publicly available sources and our vast network of whistle-blowers, GTN has compiled a list of 10 things you should consider before applying to one of the galaxy's most famous, now 250-year-old, institutions.

So, arm yourself with the following facts that the Federation doesn't want you to know!

Getting a place at Starfleet Academy is tough. You should think about whether you want to put yourself or your child through the gruelling application process in the first place. To apply as a non-Federation citizen, you'll need a letter of recommendation from a command-level officer, so start sucking up to anyone with a few pips on their collar (latinum also lasts forever). After that, you'll face the Starfleet Academy Preparatory Program which, unironically, you'll have to prep for.

All candidates must sit the entrance exam: a series of assessments so challenging they make the Klingon Rite of Ascension look like a walk in the park. Someone once said, "the only person you are truly competing against is yourself". When there are other people in the room and only one place at the Academy up for grabs, that's clearly not the case! Don't worry, though! It took some digging, but we found out that even the great Jean-Luc Picard failed the first time.

From what GTN could glean from former students, you can expect the following during the exam: the hyperspace physics test (heads up: it's always 1:1), the dynamic relationships test (know your vector coordinates), an interspecies interactions test (don't be afraid to insult a Zaldan, you despicable Mellanoid slime worm!), and to be quizzed on your knowledge of everything from astrometrics to quantum theory.

Last but not least, there's the dreaded, and frankly traumatising, 'psych test' in which you will have to overcome your biggest fear. Plus, make sure you're word perfect on your early Starfleet history, but not enough to bore the pants off any Q who might be listening in.

Knowing all that, do you really want to take the entrance exam?