10 Greatest Wise Asses in TV History

1. Edmund Blackadder €“ Blackadder

Blackadder: €œGet out, get out libidinous swine! And take that horse-slut painted strumpet with you. May you both rot in the filth of your own fornication!€Queen Elizabeth I: €œAnd what did you say to him?€Blackadder: €œSay, Madam? I said nothing. I simply pulled up my tights and jumped out of the privy window.€Queen Elizabeth I: €œOh Edmund, you€™re so naughty!€Blackadder: €œWell, I try, Madam. And then, ten minutes later when I€™ve got my breath back, I try again.€ Although the cast, the budget and the all-round ambition of the first series of Blackadder was astonishing, it wasn€™t until Blackadder and his faithful manservant Baldrick swapped roles that the character blossomed into perfection. In Series 2 Blackadder became the be-goateed master of cunning with a penchant for Wise Ass-ery that would put him down in the history books (or WhatCulture! at least) as the greatest of them all. Prince George: €œAh, Blackadder. Notice anything unusual?€Blackadder: €œYes sit. It€™s 11:30 in the morning and you€™re moving about. Is the bed on fire?€ Generations later, Blackadder€™s fall from grace finds him away from Court and in the service of the Prince Regent as his butler. The doting servant takes every opportunity to interject quips and fleece is idiotic master for all the crown has to offer. It€™s this surprising 18th Century temerity which makes every Wise Ass comment that much more hilarious! From toying with the lexical sensitivity of Dr Johnson to even convincing the Prince to exchange roles briefly and take a well-deserved thump in the face, Blackadder shocks with his cunning. Like Tyrion Lannister, when faced with his impending doom Blackadder found the time, timing and tenacity to unleash one last quip in the face of fate. Unlike Tyrion Lannister, however, is the emotional pertinence Blackadder gives to one of the most momentous occasions in all comedy, nay T.V. history. Being able to deal with the horrors of the First World War with light-heartedness is a brave endeavour, doing justice to the character and magnanimity of the heroes who fell in that war is something else entirely. For this reason, Blackadder is crowned The Greatest Wise Ass in T.V. history. Private Baldrick: €œI have a plan, sir.€Captain Blackadder: €œReally, Baldrick? A cunning and subtle one?€Private Baldrick: €œYes, sir.€Captain Blackadder: €œAs cunning as a fox who€™s just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?Private Baldrick: €œYes sir.€Captain Blackadder: €œWell, I€™m afraid it€™ll have to wait. Whatver it was, I€™m sure it was better than my plan to get out of this by pretending to be mad. I mean, who would have noticed another madman round here? Good luck, everyone.
 
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A. J. S. Scott was created as a homunculus by a mad English Alchemist who was trying to make rum from ink and seawater. He is still a fan of both and he has no comment on what happened to all the ‘No Exit’ signs in Islington Underground Station when he visited for Beltaine. You can send him missives by bribing the Right Raven with sour-strings, or: Instagram: @ajsscott Tumblr: andrew-scott-things.tumblr.com