10 Greatest Wise Asses in TV History

10. Dave Lister €“ Red Dwarf

Rimmer: €œLister? Is that a cigarette you€™re smoking?€Lister: €œNo, it€™s a chicken€Dave Lister, the only surviving crew member of the Jupiter Mining Corporation ship Red Dwarf, was in stasis when the crew died and was let out only when it was considered safe to do so. Radiation being what it is and all. In order to stop him going stir crazy the ship€™s computer, Holly, created a hologram of former crew member Arnold Rimmer to keep him company. A crew member who Lister despised. Rimmer: €œIf there€™s one thing I can€™t stand, it€™s crazy people.€Lister: €œOk we€™ve passed the test now, Rimmer. You can let us out.€Rimmer: €œI can€™t let you out.€Lister: €œWhy not?€Rimmer: €œBecause the King of the Potato People won€™t let me. I begged him. I went down on my knees and wept. He wants to keep you here ... keep you here for ten years.€The Cat: €œCan we see him?€Rimmer €œSee who?The Cat: €œThe King!€Rimmer: €œDo you have a magic carpet?€Lister: €œYeah. A little three-seater.€ The reason for this seemingly ridiculous choice of a man Lister once loathed, to keep him from going insane was that it would keep him occupied. And occupied he is! With Series X being aired at the time of writing, Red Dwarf€™s cult status has proved its mettle and Dave Lister continues to take any and every opportunity to wind up Rimmer with perfectly timed Wise Ass-ery. Smegging fantastic!
 
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A. J. S. Scott was created as a homunculus by a mad English Alchemist who was trying to make rum from ink and seawater. He is still a fan of both and he has no comment on what happened to all the ‘No Exit’ signs in Islington Underground Station when he visited for Beltaine. You can send him missives by bribing the Right Raven with sour-strings, or: Instagram: @ajsscott Tumblr: andrew-scott-things.tumblr.com