10 Greatest Wise Asses in TV History

9. Dr Bob Kelso €“ Scrubs

€œLet me break this down for you, Bobbo style!€ Everybody€™s favourite aging patriarch with a penchant for Asian strange, Bob Kelso is the only €˜Chief of Medicine€™ to dominate a T.V. series long after he€™s forced to retired ... fuelled on free muffins alone. Sure Dr. Cox was the master of the put down but a true €˜Wise Ass€™ has to be much more than that. Kelso is the master of the retort. Nurse Carla: €œWe€™ll take that raise now€Bob Kelso: €œOK, but in this little fantasy of yours can I not have prostate problems!€ This is just one of a hoard of Kelso-quotes which are, not only memorable, but adaptable for the layman too; the mark of an excellent €˜Wise Ass€™. Always giving! Any fan of Scrubs who hasn€™t responded to a real life complaint with €œWho has two thumbs and doesn€™t give a crap?€ before pointing to and full naming himself, has to be harbouring a sloth-like wit. Dr. Cox: €œThanks to your little gesture, she actually believes that the earth is full of people who, deep down, are filled with kindness and caring!€Dr Kelso: €œWell that€™s absurd. People are bastard-coated bastards with a bastard filling.€ It€™s the sheer joy with which Kelso doles out his Wise Ass-ery. He effortlessly encapsulates all that a veteran in any field must feel once they€™ve reached the peak of his/her profession. That perfect cocktail of complacency and wit is the comedy equivalent of Liam Neeson€™s character in Taken. Everybody hopes that, if ever they€™re in his position, they€™d be able to do exactly the same with equal aplomb.
 
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A. J. S. Scott was created as a homunculus by a mad English Alchemist who was trying to make rum from ink and seawater. He is still a fan of both and he has no comment on what happened to all the ‘No Exit’ signs in Islington Underground Station when he visited for Beltaine. You can send him missives by bribing the Right Raven with sour-strings, or: Instagram: @ajsscott Tumblr: andrew-scott-things.tumblr.com