4. Malcolm Tucker The Thick of It
Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off! The King of Curses. The Sultan of Swearing. The Duke of Dick-Jokes ... ok that last one shows just how much I have to learn from the man himself but you get the point. In Stephen Frys Planet Word documentary, The Thick of It creator Armando Ianucci discusses the constant battles he and the BBC have in choosing just how many swear words they can put into each episode. Malcome Tuckers retorts undoubtedly occupy a lot of those discussions but their filth is not misplaced. Tuckers Wise Ass-ery makes swearing an art.
Hes about as much use as a marzipan dildo The ability to combine a good, hearty swear-word with an item of food or animal, into a put-down thats worthy of liquid jettisoning from the nostrils is pure comedy magic. Its said that hes based on Alistair Campbell - though Sean Gray recently told the
BBC he wasnt initially and this has brought a new element to politics. The idea that a Wise Ass with a tongue that lashes like a whip is running around making ministers tremble and dribble into their polyester pants is something that even the most disinterested voter can get on board with.
Please could you take this note, ram it up his hairy inbox and pin it to his fucking prostate. Ultimately, what makes Malcolm Tucker one of the greatest T.V. Wise Asses is his innate ability to combine peerlessly funny responses with a dangerous believability to his threats; if not their literal truth, definitely that implied.