8. Brainy Smurf (The Smurfs)
Brainy Smurf was an absolute twit. Who honestly could even tolerate Brainy Smurf, let alone actually like the character? That little flour-sack-as-fashion fop needed a slap in the face and to be silenced forever. I lived in anticipation of the day when Papa Smurf would just lose his nut and wipe Brainy Smurf's smirk off his face by choking that little cerulean critter, cries of delight emanating from the other Smurfs. Or Gargamel could eat him. Gargamel wanted to eat the Smurfs, right? Or did he just want to make a golden potion out of their guts? Guys, I've lived a hard life, full of house parties, red wine and socks mysteriously going missing, so I just don't have the time nor the mental capacity to remember this stuff. Maybe Gargamel's cat could eat Brainy Smurf? Look, somebody just has to eat him so that he'll stop droning on and on and on like a twerp. Somebody needs to take one for the Smurfy team.