2. The Intelligent Virus
BBC WorldwideThis particular cliché comes in not one, but two delicious flavours of tedium either its a good old-fashioned fleshy virus or, in more recent sci-fi, its a computer virus instead. Of course, the characters dont immediately realise the virus is intelligent; thats a revelation saved for the halfway point of the episode, where someone will utter the line Its as if the virus is trying to protect itself! and anyone whos ever used a computer dies a little inside. Real viruses try and protect themselves, setting files to read-only and creating multiple backups it doesnt mean the five new browser toolbars Ive developed are an attempt at communication. Eventually, the virus will gain the ability to communicate directly with our heroes, either by infecting so much of their victim that it can work them like a meaty marionette, or utilising a nearby computer. After our heroes convince the virus that they didnt mean to kidnap it, both species can co-exist peacefully and many other platitudes, the virus agrees to be transported back home or to a special computer where it can live out the rest of its days spawning pop-up ads and logging your World of Warcraft details. Its remarkable how often this plot rears its hackneyed head, considering how obvious and uninteresting it is. Even if the audience doesnt recognise the story straight away, the episode normally flat-out tells us that the virus is sentient, meaning we spend the next hour watching the main cast playing catch-up as they trudge through a story weve been tired of since the 80s.