5. The Doctor's Genitals And What Others Want To Do With Them
Do you know why people loved Donna Noble? All sorts of reasons, but a big underlying factor was that she never wanted to screw the Doctor. He made the assumption she would, and she shot him right out of the sky. It made that entire season feel fresh and story focused. The tired old sexual tension trope was laid to rest, and it really felt like The Doctor and his best friend out on adventures through time and space. It was clean, and as a result the loss of Donna was one of the series most poignant moments ever. She's nestled in there refreshingly between Martha, Rose, and Amy, all of whom just can't keep their lady bits from quivering when they hear that wooshing Tardis sound. Even Jack, as charming as his crush on the Doctor was, still wanted to boff him. Why is this a problem? Admittedly, this problem isn't just with Seasons 5-7. This started in Season One of the reboot, with Rose's doe-eyed affections growing episode by episode. And it was alright. It was even good. Then...Martha was in love with him. And that was less ok. And then Donna! (YAY!) Then...Amy. Amy Pond who was worst of all. Amy Pond who already loved another man but wanted to cheat on and abandon him for the Doctor; and not like Rose casually dating Mickey Smith loved another man, but full on innocent little boy who had loved her forever loved another man. Amy Pond whose awkward and torn affections served as the thumping monotone heartbeat of her entire story arc, and whose jealous intricacies kept being rehashed time and again, whenever the writer's couldn't figure out a more skillful way to ramp up the emotional stakes. It felt icky, and co-dependent, and really like the Doctor was very much psychologically abusing the poor girl by popping in and out of her timeline and leveraging her obsessions to preserve his own comfort (as in The Big Bang). How can we fix this? The Doctor started out as a "daft old man" traveling with his granddaughter. Let's try that. Well, maybe not that exactly. But the answer is very simple. You've already given the Doctor a wife, take him off the market, and stop attaching him to obsessive lonely little girls. The Doctor is not so small as to be confined by what amounts to the Twilight-tropes of the paranormal romance fad. Now, it's too soon to tell whether Clara is likely to fall for him or not, but hopefully the romantic tension between them will be kept very low, or be ousted right away. Sexual banter doesn't seem to wear poorly on Clara, but she should become more a female version of liberated Jack than another Doc-obsessed Amy. And for god's sake The Doctor is "903 years old", give him more emotional intelligence than the average 15 year old.