1. How To Turn Pretty Much Anything In Miami Into A Death Trap (With An Explosion Or Two For Good Measure) - Burn Notice
Really, I didn't see anything else that could top this list after watching the show for 111 episodes. Michael Westen is an ex-spy who now spends his time A-Teaming it with his on again, off again girlfriend, his mother, some other guy and Bruce Campbell. You know how in the end of an A-Team episode they'd break out of their cell by making a tank out of mattress springs and power tools that they were conveniently trapped alongside? Well imagine that with a step-by-step narration of HOW they made a mattress and some power tools into a death machine. Don't believe me? Here are some of the dark, wonderful and educational things Michael Westen teaches us in the Pilot episode alone: -How to discover when someone is tailing you -How not to break any little bones in your hand when you punch someone in the face -Fight in a bathroom; the hard surfaces work to your advantage -Proper car-stealing etiquette -How to mail a fake bomb threat ("a box of wire and pipe and batteries sprinkled with chemical fertilizer is a great attention-getter") -The easiest way to track down a criminal (through their money launderers) -How to break into somewhere without gaining attention -How to build a listening device ("you need a crappy phone with a mike that picks up everything. But you want the battery power and circuits of a better phone.") We get to learn all of this within the first episode alone! We still haven't gotten the chance to learn about how to make a lightbulb into a bomb, or how to bug a phone without them noticing. They should have called the Pilot "How To Become A Terrorist/Vigilante In Ninety Minutes Or Less." We hope you've enjoyed this little lesson in violent TV, but obviously, I haven't watched every episode of every show in existence, so if there's a time where you can remember being taught something pretty horrifically violent in a TV show (did How I Met Your Mother ever go into detail on car bombs?), then let us know in the comments and thanks for reading!
