9 Ups & 1 Down From Star Trek: Lower Decks 5.5 — Starbase 80?!

400 years at impulse, or a stop at the galaxy's grottiest gas station? Decisions, decisions. With navigation down and the whales in shocking disarray, the crew of the Cerritos had little choice in the end. Set a course, Mr Boimler. What's the worst that could happen? Starbase 80 might be bad (apparently), but it's not like it's cursed… right?

Any blight that had befallen the cosmic nook and cranny of the title most surely didn't apply to the episode itself. Extremely effective from the outset, Starbase 80?! adeptly wove the prior away mission planet of Piskes [sic] IX of the cold opener into the main plot and resolution. What's more, it was all achieved through a rather fine fresh take on a less than rosy Star Trek outing. This time, the A and the B plots also complemented each other perfectly.

The higher the number, the less the higher-ups seem to care. In this case, Starfleet neglect was a boon to nostalgia and everything egg. A monument to the 2260s, fully upgrading Starbase 80 would almost be sacrilege at this point.

Right, we've just used our combadges, so we'd better write the rest of this before we start licking the walls. Has anyone seen a shining green candle?!

It has practically been the 'Big Bad' of the entire series, the threat to end all threats — the "hellhole" to give every Starfleet officer a Phloxian night terror, the place not to be. The title of the episode might have been in the interrogative of the unmerged interrobang, but in spite of themselves, the crew of the Cerritos was definitely headed to the fated Starbase 80. "Nooooooooooooooooooo [redacted]."

Expectations weighed heavy. None more so than for Mariner who'd already been there, and for Captain Freeman, whose alternate had been reduced to running the place. Don't judge a Starbase by its cover-age, however, or by its covering(-over) of pits and Denobulan lice. Sure, it was stuck in the '60s — the 2260s — needing at least a lick of paint (not a licking of the paint), a grav-plating re-haul, and some new turbolifts that would actually listen, but the inhabitants didn't blame their tools.

Another refreshing life lesson, then, in amongst the habitual chaos — that the spectre of fear is far worse than facing it. That some problems are far less grave than they seem. Plus, as we learnt, there are those that rather enjoyed working on Starbase 80 for its "retro-cool" and "second chances". Goes Nowhere Does Nothing is for conduits, not for people. We're all just trying to find our way somehow through the grime.