Amazon's Lord Of The Rings: 10 Things Fans Demand

Remember in the mid-noughties when everything was "Classical Legend - but this time they're young and trendy"? That particular TV era gave us BBC greats like Merlin and Robin Hood. But very soon, that trope got very tired. It culminated in ITV's 'Demons,' where the last descendant of Van Helsing teams up with a vampiric Mina Harker, and Philip Glennister doing a terrible American accent.

We've already seen something similar happen with the batch of shows piggybacking off the success of Game of Thrones. If your fantasy drama doesn't have mud, boobs, and gore, then we're not interested - or at least that's what TV producers would have you believe.

There's a time and a place for these edgy shows, as long as there are those who still genuinely enjoy them. A lot of people watched The Witcher; Vikings was apparently good; there's even been a recent retelling of the Arthurian legend in that vain with Netflix's Cursed.

But do you know what doesn't need the George RR Martin Treatment? The Lord of the Rings. I do not need to see Gandalf's schlong, I do not need to see elven boobs, and I really don't think gruesome battle scenes would go cleanly alongside the onscreen beauty of Middle Earth.

Don't you dare, Bezos. Don't you flippin' dare.