Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 9: 8 Times Larry David Was A Social Assassin

5. "Vanilla Bulls**t"

Larry David huge vagina
HBO

The world has become a needlessly complicated place. It should be easy to order a simple cuppa from a local café, but instead you're frequently faced with a panoply of alienating options. Frappucino. Cortado. Caffè Misto. Nitro Cold Brew. What the f*ck is that? How about just sticking some beans in a mug?

A turn of good fortune gave Larry the perfect riposte to such nonsense.

When he inadvertently ruled the city's star basketball player Shaq O'Neal out of action after an idle front-row stretch during a game, the Lakers' curse proved an inverse blessing for a man usually the victim of everyday annoyance. Now considered a social pariah for his leg-breaking transgression, Larry finds peopl gradually withdrawing from him, much to his eternal delight. The in-laws skip town, friends go back on requests for favours, and even luck seems to be on his side.

To celebrate his new status as LA's primary persona non grata, Larry treats the entire clientele of Starbucks to coffee on the house. Asked for his order, Larry can't even begin to hide the complete lack of f**ks he gives: "One of the vanilla bulls**t things, you know. Whatever you want: some vanilla bulls**t." We've all thought it at some point, when confronted with a Sharpie-equipped barista. Never mind my name: give me some coffee.

Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.