7. Ken Dodd - Delta And The Bannermen
"Tonight is your lucky night!" Producer John Nathan-Turner's love of showbiz and instinct for a headline led to some very incongruous casting decisions, and as a result Doctor Who in the mid to late 80s came to resemble a halfway house for faded light entertainment stars. Probably the most egregious example of this tendency is the appearance, in Sylvester McCoy's first run of episodes, of Liverpudlian comic and tax evader Ken Dodd. With his grotesque teeth and hauntingly manic demeanour, Dodd occupies a position in the UK somewhere between national treasure and freakish irritant. A major TV star in his day, he still tours the country with stand-up sets that last upwards of four hours. I can only conclude that the endurance of his audience is near superhuman, since he manages to outstay his welcome in Delta and the Bannermen in much less than four hours (try four minutes). Stepping onto the screen in a glittery purple hat and tuxedo (my fingernails are now permanently imprinted into my sofa) Dodd plays the keeper of an intergalactic tollbooth who becomes embroiled in an inter-galactic feud. This is merely an excuse for the kind of faffing around that has endeared him to generations of comedy fans (just not, y'know, any of the generations after 1959). He actually starts jiving at one point, and even Sylvester McCoy looks embarrassed. I'll say that again- even Sylvester McCoy, the same Sylvester McCoy who played the spoons on Kate O'Mara's breasts, looks embarrassed. To be fair on Ken, he isn't out of place in a production that could charitably be called 'jolly'. The early McCoy serials are only a gunge tank away from children's television, and Dodd is positively dour next to Bonnie Langford. What rankles is that he was clearly cast to generate tabloid column inches- with no other major dramatic credentials to his name, he just plays himself. The mercy is he doesn't whip out his 'tickling stick' (please, don't ever ask). Nonetheless, as an effort to boost viewing figures, it represents the worst excesses of the Nathan-Turner regime.
Most OTT Moment: His death scene. Assassinated by the leader of the Bannermen, Dodd gives us his own take on the iconic poster for Oliver Stone's Platoon. Whenever I watch it I'm glad the 80s happened.