9. Whatever's Happening Here, We're Not Sure
Story: "The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon" (2011) - The Eleventh Doctor.
Usage Rating: Moffat/Davies - It's fantastical, but easier to understand from a kid's view...
Nyssa Scale: 2 - It's related, but damned if we know how...... There's a moment higher on this list where the Tenth Doctor actually seems ready to use his screwdriver to do... something. It's really not clear what, but it doesn't come to pass. So we're left to speculate, and it just looks odd. We'll get to it. But this is a whole other matter, because Matt Smith seems to be doing... something... The sad thing is, "Day Of The Moon" already had the Doctor doing something rather BRILLIANT to solve the problem of the Silence. It's so brilliant that almost any Doctor, from Hartnell to Baker (either) to Eccleston could be seen doing it, and it's so obvious once it's shown but you probably didn't think of it before then. By attaching subliminal orders from the Silence for humanity to defend themselves to the footage of the Moon landing, the Doctor has assured circumstances on Earth that leave the Silence in danger constantly. Really, they just should've puttered off the planet while that triumphant Murray Gold music was playing, and it would've been a great Who ending for the ages. Sadly, Moffat's pet creation River Song is present, which means that things will descend to either 1. Cliches, 2. Double Entendres, or 3. Both. It's option #3 this time around, which means that Song starts spinning around and shooting up the place in an attempt to establish her as a "Strong Female Character". Coming from a show that often posits knowledge and smarts as better weapons and had already established the girl will eventually be a Professor, it's a pretty empty and disappointing development. However, Matt Smith gets caught up in the proceedings, which is doubly unfortunate because 1. He already did something far more consequential than River turning into a poor man's Alice from Resident Evil and 2. Nothing the Doctor does with the Sonic Screwdriver makes ANY sense. While trading mind-numbingly tedious dialogue, the Doctor accompanies River on her shooting spree by pointing his Screwdriver and doing... something. Who knows what. It's almost as though due to the fact that this is a big dumb action ending, the Doctor needs a big dumb weapon to wave around too. The sad thing is, as with many lesser plot holes in Doctor Who, this is the kind of thing that just a throwaway line of dialogue would clear up. "I'm depolarizing the fluid links in their console - I can't leave this to be found down here!" or "The central column's now set to destabilize - Just buy me some more time so they can't reverse the temporal collapse!" In fact, the latter would at least somewhat justify River massacring a race the Doctor's already condemned to death should they stay on Earth. It makes the gag they crack about the Screwdriver that much more annoying on top of everything else. This really only makes sense if: 1. It was a blatant attempt to merchandize the Sonic Screwdriver to the "Action Toy" crowd. (Let's be frank, it's just not the same as buying a Phaser toy, or Han Solo's Blaster replica) 2. Moffat seriously thinks that the show set in America and being sold harder than ever in America needed to end like some silly American action standoff. (Which, again, is kind of sad - He made a far wittier observation on this earlier in the episode with Canton when the Silence is gunned down and captured.) Sadly, this isn't the last time Smith'll make the list, either.