Doctor Who: 10 Most Ridiculous Uses Of The Sonic Screwdriver

6. Colin Baker Is In Denial

Story: "Attack of the Cybermen" (1985) - Colin Baker Usage Rating: Letts/Davies - It's having one's Sonic and denying it too. Nyssa Scale: 4 - Oh, just call it a "Sonic Screwdriver" and get it overwith! To those who weren't paying attention, in 1980 producer John Nathan-Turner decided that the Doctor had it too easy. He made sure his Time Lady companion and his robot dog headed off into the E-Space sunset, and then eventually did away with the Sonic Screwdriver too. It just took care of things too easy, and wasn't "real science". Never mind that "Real Science" that year included cactus people and time loops that get solved by magic. Using sonic vibrations to loosen or recalibrate things could never - oh. Yeah, that actually is real science. We just haven't gotten it down to a compact, pocket sized model that wouldn't cause the Doctor some discomfort due to a nuclear-level powersource. But back to the 80's - Peter Davison soldiered on without an accessory, and then Colin Baker showed up as 6. This is notable because in his second story, amidst making Peri bounce from place to place while repeating words three times with increasing incredulity ("Unstable? Unstable?!? UNSTABLE!!!??!"), he's doing some maintenance. With a... Sonic LANCE. Now, that wouldn't be anything remarkable. It's just a tool. That he keeps on his person. And uses to disable a Cyberman. And later, cause an explosion crucial to further stopping the Cybermen. So, let's see - this is a device the Doctor has on his person that enables him to not only effect maintenance, but also solve problems and further the plot. It accomplishes this via Sonic trickery, and is a pocket sized, cylindrical piece. But it's not a Sonic Screwdriver. Heavens, no. The funny thing is, this comes at a time where John Nathan Turner was eager to capitalize on Doctor Who Merchandising, and he tried to do so in some pretty ridiculous ways - the outfit "uniforms" the Doctors and companions wore? Uh huh. That terrible sweater 7 had? Yep. Cookbooks, a book of "A Day with a Television Producer", Era-retrospective videos... All were happily marketed. So it's kind of funny that the ONE device that the Doctor had that he easily could've capitalized on... was written out of the series. Except of course, for that one time it wasn't. And they called it something else while it did EVERYTHING it wasn't supposed to.
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In a parallel universe where game shows' final jackpots and consequent fortunes depend on knowledge of obscure music trivia and Jon Pertwee/Tom Baker Doctor Who episodes, I've probably gone rich, insane, and am now a powermad despot. But happily we're not there, so I'm actually rather pleasant. Really.