Doctor Who: 10 Reasons Why The Rings Of Akhaten Sucks

9. The Space Moped Rental Saleswoman Goes "Ruff Ruff Ruff"

For some reason, the TARDIS stops translating some of the alien speech heard in the marketplace on the asteroid orbiting Akhaten. Not all of it, though; dialogue from the more attractive, human-like characters continues to be spoken in English.

No explanation for this curious partial lapse in the TARDIS's telepathic circuits is ever given. Perhaps Clara is too stunned by her surroundings to ask why she can understand some of the locals but not others. But even the Doctor overlooks the peculiarly convenient functioning of the TARDIS, which is strange since he knows how it should work better than anyone.

Consider the case of Dor'een, the local space bike rental saleswoman. It can't be the case that her speech is so alien that it's beyond the TARDIS's abilities to convert into English. The Doctor understands her readily enough, and the gist of what she's saying is certainly comprehensible to humans (it doesn't involve any concepts beyond human understanding).

Nonetheless, her dialogue is given as a series of "Ruff, ruff, ruff!" noises, for no good reason. It's left to the audience to guess that the TARDIS might be supplying the Doctor with a translation but not Clara - but viewers shouldn't have to guess what's going on and, again, the Doctor should remark on how weird it is. As it stands, it looks like a blunder caused by a writer who doesn't understand some of the basic background details of Doctor Who.

The solution: Dor'een, like virtually every other humanoid alien in the history of the series, should have spoken English. If the programme's makers were hell-bent on keeping the barking sounds, then the Doctor should have explained that the majority of her meaning was expressed using some process outside the scope of the TARDIS's translations (like pheromones) and that he happened to learn it the last time he was there.