4. A Hideous Christmas Song
http://youtu.be/GuBJ5H9m3Sc In terms of what it does to the Daleks reputations, this is far worse than the porn, the cigar ad, and the questionable comedy sketch combined. Released in 1964 an attempt to cash in on the 1960s Dalekmania craze, the song Im Gonna Spend My Christmas With a Dalek by Newcastle band The Go-Gos (Id like to add the fact that, as someone with Geordie ancestry, this band is source of personal shame to me) is tuneless, brainless, and more sickly than a gingerbread man coated in treacle and dipped in sugar. One of its problems is that it was an attempt to make the Daleks into a UK equivalent of the Chipmunks. And Daleks and the Chipmunks should never be connected unless its the Daleks setting them on fire. This borderline insane concept led to the Dalek in the song (who sounds more like Bleep from Bleep and Booster than a Dalek) being given lines like Merry Christmas, I love you, and Can I have some more plum pudding with custard? This complete mischaracterisation of the Daleks, lead singer Sue Smiths profoundly irritating lisping little girl voice, the lyrics (e.g. If hes very nice, Ill feed him sugar spice), and how mind-meltingly twee it is all combine to make this the worst thing to happen to music, Newcastle, and Daleks until Jedward, Paul Gascoigne, and... actually, no. This is the worst thing to happen to the Daleks ever. Being completely obliterated time and time again is a kindness when this kind of thing exists. Now if youll excuse me, I need to go and have a little cry, and then watch a Dalek episode to remind me of their true glory.
JG Moore
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JG Moore is a writer and filmmaker from the south of England. He also works as an editor and VFX artist, and has a BA in Media Production from the University Of Winchester.
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