1. Cast Fat Leeches Into A Fire And Curse Your Enemies
Stannis Baratheon, following the advice of red witch Melisandre, tosses three swollen leeches onto a fire in an attempt to bring about the deaths of his rivals for the Iron Throne: Robb Stark, Joffrey Baratheon and Balon Greyjoy, otherwise known as the Usurpers. Ok, maybe this won't vanquish your enemies, but it's fun to think it might (maybe not so much fun for the sacrificial leeches). Anyway, here's what you need to do: First, you're going to have to locate some leeches (Hint: they're found in fresh water). Next, you're going to have to find someone who's willing to let you put leeches on them (or not. Melisandre didn't bother with that particular detail). Lastly, throw your swollen leeches into a fire, naming each of your enemies. Not sure about your enemies, but as for me, I'd name my second cousin Erma, that boy who barks, and those parents down the block who won't let my daughter anywhere near their son anymore. Game of Thrones returns to HBO on Sunday, April 6.