7. Now Drumming For Def Leppard... Lieutenant Tom Paris
When he wasn't busy turning into a giant slug, Voyager's navigator and resident rebel-without-a-cause was always getting himself into trouble. Maybe Captain Janeway will think twice the next time she decides find hired help at a penal colony. Veteran Voyager writer Dr. Harry Kloor envisioned an episode in which Paris, on the run from alien baddies in his Delta Flyer, crash lands on a planet and gets his arm ripped off, or mostly ripped off, or just partially ripped off. Sources are unclear as to the extent of the intended amputation, but it's safe to surmise that Paris wasn't going to be starting many slow-claps for quite a while. The story then had an alien physician/benefactor coming to Paris' aid and restoring the use of his arm with the help of Borg nanoprobe technology. The idea was ultimately dropped when the producers decided 1) an injury of that extent would be difficult to portray convincingly, and 2) if it could be portrayed convincingly, it would be too gory for the audience. Thus, the question of how a man learns to wipe his backside with a Borg hand remains, for the time being, unanswered.
Recovering print journalist, writing professionally since 1991, polluting the internet and wasting the world's bandwidth since 1995. Board-certified Doctor of Memetics and Trollology, offering free consultations to qualified patients.
