10 Absolute Worst Wrestlers To Win WWE Titles
1. Heidenreich
Heidenreich was the quintessential 'Johnny Ace hire': a heavily muscled colossus recruited in a bid to appease Vince McMahon, irrespective of whether he had talent, presence, aptitude, drive, the right attitude, or anything that might qualify somebody for the job.
"Umm, well boss, he can't really wrestle."
"Haha Johnny, I don't care. He can simply sexually assault Michael Cole!"
"Sure thing, boss!"
He really couldn't wrestle. He was comically inept, in fact. His version of selling wasn't to authentically emulate pain or anguish, perhaps by clenching his eyes in a grimace or tending to a stricken body part. He barked "I don't feel good," and bumped as if he'd slipped on a banana peel. He would sort of launch himself into the air and fall down in an 'L' shape. He couldn't time a bloody thing, either. He always bumped far too early. On offence, he couldn't even land the most basic of moves. He did this weird one-armed scoop slap that miraculously never injured anybody, and his facials, Jesus Christ, his facials: he looked like a children's entertainer selling a frying pan to the face...
...while trying to convey intensity.
He won tag gold with Animal, but was as much a Road Warrior as Lance was a Von Erich.
Cracking poet, mind.