10 Absolutely RIDICULOUS Wrestling Theme Lyrics
2. Mr. Ass - Ass Man
Exceptionally, immortally bad, one can only deduce that Monty 'Billy Gunn' Sopp requires psychiatric therapy.
He sees asses in the face of every child, in every drop of rain.
He doesn't just love asses; he loves to love 'em. He loves to kick 'em.
This is sensible; the man - 'Mr. Ass' - is a combat athlete, and he should be primarily concerned with kicking ass, for that is what he is paid to do. He also loves to shove 'em, which, while weird, still works. He also loves to stick 'em. Again, fair. Maybe. Making his opponents surrender their ass is problematic, connotation-wise, but don't worry. Things get definitively messed up imminently.
Mr. Ass also loves to flaunt 'em. How many f*cking asses does he have?
'So many asses, so little time,' the vocalist sings, mournfully, for Mr. Ass wishes to do, on the basis of the lyrics, everything to every ass.
'I'm a lover, of every kind / The best surprises always sneak up from behind'
So that's your man Billy Gunn cancelled, then.
'You walk behind me, I feel the heat / That's why the girls don't walk behind me in the street'
Girls don't walk behind Mr. Ass in the street because he is unable to restrain himself. This is so layered in its weirdness, too; surely, to rile up the dudes in the audience, the girls should walk behind him in the street. He has a better, more sculpted ass than them, and they should therefore want to see it kicked.
But no.
Mr. Ass is a sexual predator.