10 Awesome Wrestling Insults That Nobody Ever Talks About

8. Bobby Heenan Pretends To Be Nice, Fails On Purpose

Triple H CM Punk
WWE

Bobby Heenan was a comedic genius who just happened to take up a residency in the squared circle.

The man was so piss-funny that he delivered one of his best-ever lines years after his prime. A jaded shell of his silver-tongued self in WCW (a mode that even bred its own particular value), Heenan returned home at WrestleMania X-Seven. There, deeply amused by the time it took the Iron Sheikh to get to the ring, he said "By the time the Iron Sheikh gets to the ring, it'll be WrestleMania 38!"

At WrestleMania 38, a guy as slow as the Sheikh will appear - only, it'll be Triple H, and he'll wrestle for 25 minutes.

Absurd and acerbic, that was vintage Heenan, to borrow a phrase from a commentator who was everything the Brain wasn't. Heenan wrote an anthology of one-liners so vast that even some of his better lines are often overlooked. Heenan operated best when confronted with the more...idiotic reaches of the WWF roster. Brain rust sharpened his iron.

"I hate to say it, but the Bushwhackers are a lot prettier than some of the women I've seen here," he once said, and what a line. It was influenced, as most heel schtick is, from Freddie Blassie - but the faux-apologetic quality was brilliantly Bobby. You wanted to punch him...but only after he was done.

On the subject of just f*cking awesome colour commentators...

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!