Pro or con, there's little left to say about the most electrifying move in sports entertainment. It is the ultimate crowd-pleaser, and yet at the end of the day, it's just a garishly dressed up standing elbow drop-which is tied with the Bushwhacker hiney-bite for move least likely to result in a pinfall. Of course, most fans understand fully where its immense stopping power comes from. The Rock's signature theatrics are, of course, to allow airborne smackdown molecules to concentrate in the tip of his unshielded elbow. The resulting release of energy is capable of incapacitating up to three vertically stacked Indian elephants. So in real life, if someone were to use the People's Elbow, the results would be plain and ineffectual. Odds are quite low that the average person is the most electrifying anything in anything, which means no energy-siphoning powers. The People's Elbow would take on a new, far more pedestrian meaning. Of course, if delivered by Monsieur Johnson himself, say atop a pool table, it would obviously send a person clear through the felt, splintering the table while the blast wave simultaneously pocketed all the stripes and unhooked every brassiere in the room. What did I miss? Any other finishers you can think of which would have unexpected results in the non-kayfabe universe? Tell me in the comments!
CKUT radio host, underground lyricist, Michael Myers scholar and all-around world-class opiner. Signature move: Irony Bomb. Blood type: chai. Never seen in the same place and time as Logic Johnson, former featured columnist for Bleacher Report.
Hopelessly unfamiliar with Yellow Submarine.
