What the Gimmick Is: A miniature bull. Why its confusing: Wrestling is wacky, but why would the people in charge of booking matches allow a short man who thinks hes a bull compete in a fight? That just seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen. El Torito isnt a gimmick thats just animal inspired like Ricky The Dragon Steamboat, or Koko B. Ware. This is a man who is presented as believing hes an actual animal. What makes it more confusing is that he doesn't actually think he's a real life bull as much as he thinks he's a cartoon bull. After all, hes enraged when he sees the color red. However, real bulls are colorblind. It's only cartoon bulls that charge the color. Now, Diego and Fernando both deserve consideration for most confusing gimmicks, as its questionable how stabbing live bulls to death with a sword translates into actual wrestling skills. Also, bullfighters don't wear masks when they're actually competing. But lets say that Diego and Fernando are actual bullfighters, well where exactly did they find El Torito? Was there just a man walking around in a bull costume that they asked to join their group? Did they kidnap him? And why does Torito think hes a bull if he actually changes outfits, and can use an electric razor? Bulls dont have hands El Torito! They dont have hands!
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
