What the Gimmick Was: A man with an intellectual disability. Why it Was Confusing: Who in their right mind would let a man who cant tie his own shoes fight large men for a full-time job? Theres no way that Dana White would allow that in the UFC. However, Vince McMahon appeared to have no problem hiring Eugene. It shouldnt have mattered that in the storyline Eugene was Eric Bischoffs nephew. Having him get beat up by trained fighters seems reckless on WWEs part. Im not sure stockholders would appreciate that! What made things even more confusing is that when Eugene debuted, he was one of the toughest men on the roster despite appearing to have no formal training. He had quite the winning streak going until he ran into HHH at SummerSlam. Still, that was a pretty fast rise for a rookie. When people create themselves in wrestling videogames, they do stupid things like give themselves finishing moves in their regular repertoire. Eugene was the real life equivalent of that. He had The Stunner, the Rock Bottom and Hulk Hogans Guillotine Legdrop all at his disposal. Instead of giving someone a snapmare takeover, he'd just give them someone else's finishing move. Actually, once you think about it, its a wonder why other wrestlers dont copy that formula to win matches.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
