10 Dumbest Wrestling Name Changes

4. The Godwinns

Steve Austin Ringmaster
WWE.com

Neither Shanghai Pierce nor Tex Slazenger were particularly great wrestling names, though the former evoked a certain deceitfulness and the latter a certain athleticism, which, while plain wrong, gets a C for effort.

Upon jumping to the WWF, they, as so many did and do, underwent a repackage. If you resent WWE for treating your intelligence with contempt - "Is this September or is it April - No Mercy feels like WrestleMania!" - don't bother. They were doing this long before they got the F out. As the pig-farming Godwinn brothers, they became Henry O. Godwinn and Phineas I. Godwinn, respectively. Do you get it? The acronyms are "hog" and "pig". Nah, you don't get it. You dumb f*ck.

The surname itself is also baffling. It conjures ideas of cleanliness, victory and benevolent power, and their legacy is one of slopping their midcard enemies in sh*t before failing to get over to any noticeable agree. The actual etymology is "God friend," which would suggest some sort of creationist slant, but...

...No. Theres' no real need to analyse this at all. They picked any old surname beginning with 'G' for the purposes of an absolutely terrible gag. That begins with 'G'. They should've just went with that.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!