9. The New Day Take Over Miz TV
The Miz loves "the WWE".
The Miz essentially does public relations for "the WWE". The Miz loves WWE so much that he's probably behind those 78 RomanSashaSZN Twitter accounts that reckon Apollo Crews Vs. Big E is "long-term storytelling". You see, the programme has lasted for quite some time.
The Miz delivers his lines and he delivers them secure in the knowledge that he is licking the boot adequately. If the material is sh*tty, it's sh*tty. It is the man's purpose in life to do everything asked of him by a batsh*t insane 75 year-old billionaire. It is a distinction he wears with pride.
On January 4, he got a taste of what the feels like when the New Day mocked Miz TV by impersonating his act with John Morrison. When they lingered over every vowel of "co-rrect!" for longer than a Randy Orton match feels like, Miz stared ruefully as he worked out what Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods were doing. In a scene you were meant to find amusing, they were bantering him off.
Kingston sounded like a screeching bird of prey trying to get the bit over, and if only he could have plucked me in his talons and dropped me into the rocks by the sea. Anything to avoid living through an intentionally bad version of MizTV.
Actually, the header is inaccurate: poor Ember Moon was handed something much worse two years ago...