10 FIERCEST Online Wrestling Rivalries

3. Jim Cornette Vs. Joey Ryan

The Uncles
FiteTV

Jim Cornette is a stitch, but he hates comedy in wrestling. He also hates lewdness in wrestling. Joey Ryan, with his super-powered c*ck, draws his ire as much as anybody else.

Cornette is incensed by Ryan's very being, and is not shy about expressing his disgust. He never is. Referring to Ryan once as a "midget piece of sh*t", Ryan is mostly breezy whenever the subject arises - which is whenever his penis arises. It's funny: Joey Ryan is a proper independent contractor in the old definition, his entire schtick allows him to avoid the high-risk strong style and deathmatch genres, and he performs with a sleazy strain of charisma not entirely divorced from the rat-chasing, hip-swivelling heels of Cornette's beloved territorial 1980s.

He was so close to winning Cornette's heart. They could have dropped into a quiet place, and had a little drink or two. But then Ryan went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like making his opponents grab his d*ck before they had to take a bump for it.

A case of misplaced priorities, perhaps, since Cornette's wrestling idols allegedly do far worse with their sexual organs - but Cornette simply cannot abide farce.

Who Would Win: Joey Ryan, but Cornette would attempt to rip Ryan's d*ck off, if he attempted the PenisPlex.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!