10 Gimmicks So Bad They Didn't Even Make It To WWE TV

Shawn Michaels as a Hell's Angel, Bob Holly in space, and Lars Sullivan in a MONOCLE...

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The infrequent but resounding reminder that WWE does in fact have standards - as evidenced by the shelved gimmick ideas that comprise this list - is shocking.

This is a company that is incapable of rational thought, much less creativity. Matt Riddle is due to receive a United States Title shot for being in the vicinity of Bobby Lashley for several weeks on end. This...this does not count as a programme. There is no drama nor logic to any of it. We know that Lashley is the better man, we know Riddle isn't a threat - WWE made him tap out in the ropes to make sure of that - and nobody would want him to unseat Lashley's dominance either, surely. He is an unlikeable tosspot. He is Pauly Shore years after everybody realised. He is supposed to be playing the endearingly dumb stoner whose simple carefree life you aspire to in some way, but he's so th*ck there is no living vicariously through him. He is a moron who watches Air Bud in his spare time. He is in his mid-30s.

It's high time he grew up, which a heel will doubtlessly be told to tell him to do, because they're all robots with sh*t patter.

And yet - *Hans Moleman voice* - these personas were considered too awful...

10. The Revival: Joke Tag Team

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It's quite astonishing that this never made it to air.

The Revival found themselves in an exhausting game the very second they requested their release from WWE. The answer was no, obviously. And how dare they ask! They must be punished!

They were punished as part of a programme with the Usos - that in literally every other promotion of renown would have been great, which rather supports their decision to leave - by being recast as prank victims. Scott Dawson burned his a**hole with topical cream before he shaved his partner's back in the shower. This was meant to be some hilarious (read: gay!) suggestion that the Revival were rather too close and did things real men didn't, which was puzzling. WWE has for years exclusively promoted wrestlers so hairless that, genetically, they have more in common with eels than they do you or me. Now that is scientific fact.

But WWE were also keen on convincing the Revival to re-sign - there can be no other pro wrestling anywhere - which might explain why they eased off on the campaign and said sh*t like "We promise to start caring about tag team wrestling again".

WWE didn't, and they might have put the Revival in these horrendous jester outfits had the ongoing pandemic not allowed them to ensure record profits by removing them the f*ck from the books.


Former Power Slam Magazine scribe and author of Development Hell: The NXT Story - available NOW on shop.whatculture.com!