10 Horrendous Promos Awesome Wrestlers Want You To Forget
Cody Rhodes and Jon Moxley are two of the best promos of their generation. Most of the time...
Writing this intro from the perspective of a podcaster - for top-quality patter and forthright insight, subscribe to WhatCulture Wrestling on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts from - public speaking is very difficult at times.
It's mostly very, very enjoyable, even when Adam Wilbourn is doing a Richard Madeley impression you can never truly tell is ironic or not, but it's daunting. Lose your train of thought or mix up your vowels, and a panic descends. On a pod, it's easy to just self-deprecate and say that you've f*cked it. Your co-hosts are on hand to take the piss out of you, so it's fine.
One of the most relatable tweets in the history of the Twitter app - one of the 0.03% that make downloading it worthwhile - is 'the grink'.
When you're around your mates, it doesn't matter that you've grown up a bit, got a decent job, generally done OK for yourself. You will always be remembered for some absolute nonsense you came out with a decade or a half ago or some terrible attempt at comedy that didn't remotely land.
The same is true of a wrestler. Certain acts, despite boasting memorable or entertaining bodies of work, are remembered primarily for their 'grink' moment. Sid. Scott Steiner. Lex Luger.
The following wrestlers are lucky that they are more memorable for other, transcendent moments in their career - because these promos are...not good...
10. The Undertaker Talks A Load Of Complete Sh*te
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[Just kidding; Steve Austin in 1998 couldn't convince you to spend a few hours listening all about that time that the Undertaker played dominos with the Godfather after making a terrified young woman burst into tears during Wrestler's Court]
The Undertaker was never a great promo because he didn't need to be a great promo; he conveyed fear and intimidation through his body language alone, so it's not as if a terrible interview is likely to make fans think less of him. He got over as the best big match wrestler of the 2000s after his immortally dire "I don't sleep" tale of taking the Big Show into the desert.
Still, while he doesn't need to sell you on a match these days, he does need to convince you that you should pay money to watch him speak in public - which his Raw 25 promo makes rather difficult.
Because it was a droning load of total nonsense.
Saying absolutely nothing of note beyond "I beat a lot of known wrestlers", he said, addressing Steve Austin and Mick Foley, that now is the time for you to truly rest in peace".
Despite using the second person, some fans, under the belief that he had to be saying something, interpreted it as a cryptic retirement speech.
This wasn't the case; he simply had nothing to say.