10 Least Convincing Weapons In WWE

Ouch? That must have... really?

R-Truth Rey Mysterio Extreme Rules 2011

In WWE, weapons are an inextricable part of the show. You can't go an hour without someone hitting (or attempting to hit) their opponent with something they weren't born with, and that's not counting hardcore/No DQ/street fight matches.

It used to be enough that once in awhile someone reached for a folding chair, title belt or stringed instrument to gain the upper hand, but the influx of hardcore elements over the years has seen the WWE weapons catalogue grow exponentially.

Tables, ladders, trash cans, sledgehammers, shovels, stop signs, bed pans, barbed wire everything, loose turnbuckles, prosthetic limbs, and candy glass objects galore have all at one point been smashed over human skulls for the sake of keeping countless amounts of hardcore fights interesting.

Of course, this is wrestling, and rule number one is to keep it (relatively) safe. Keeping it safe means simulating the painful bits, and sometimes the simulation fails.

The following are ten illegal "weapons" used at least once in WWE which do not look remotely as effective as they're portrayed as being in the realm of kayfabe, and which simply demand suspension of disbelief when used.

The last few may cause brain-aches. The writer is not responsible.

10. Aluminium Shovel

R-Truth Rey Mysterio Extreme Rules 2011

What could be more devastating than having Mark “I'm Not Dead And I Love Bikes” Calloway taking his best overhead swing with a freaking shovel?

And granted, until that first shovel made contact one day, it might have passed as a really, really well-polished shovel… possibly to match the grandeur of the show.

But when you saw the shot happen, just, come on. This is one case where harder is not better. The way these things get viciously tomahawked into human skulls, you would expect to hear a loud *bong* followed by a wrestler being suddenly eye-level with his own collarbone.

But no, the thing bent like it had been moulded out of pressed tinfoil, with a sound suspiciously like a trashcan impact, only far less, erm, crunchy.

So apparently, WWE purchases work shovels with a tensile capacity that may or may not stand up to a sizeable square of shepherd's pie. We're done here.


CKUT radio host, underground lyricist, Michael Myers scholar and all-around world-class opiner. Signature move: Irony Bomb. Blood type: chai. Never seen in the same place and time as Logic Johnson, former featured columnist for Bleacher Report. Hopelessly unfamiliar with Yellow Submarine.