10 Measures WWE Can Take To Improve AWFUL Ratings
4. Stop Pushing Baron Corbin?
Recent, dismal TV ratings tell a story:
WWE is utter sh*t!
Baron Corbin is the protagonist of this story, because, on a calculable segment-by-segment basis, Baron Corbin is ratings poison. The worst-performing third hours of Monday Night RAW's recent history saw Baron perform in lengthy, not particularly great main events that failed to inspire much enthusiasm within the pro wrestling public. WWE even took the bizarre measure of blaming Baron for this, in the process appointing us, the fans, as the new Authority of WWE.
As the Authority, we have elected to push the guy we evidently don't wish to see in the main event in the main event as number one contender to Universal Champion Seth Rollins. Ratings continue to plummet. What are we thinking? Are we all 73 year-old, out of touch men who still bath our daughters? Because I'm f*cking 33, my name isn't Vincent, and I personally don't think Baron Corbin, while talented, is a main event proposition.
Earlier this century, Chinese doctors pioneered controversial surgery in which, via sawing through flesh and shinbone, well-off patients can opt to make themselves up to five inches taller. If that is Corbin's sole appeal to Vince - and it f*cking is, infuriatingly - just send the good lads to the Far East.
Sigh. Vince would just make Baron eight-foot, let's face it.