10 MORE TERRIBLE Decisions We Have Made As The Authority Of WWE

1. Pushed Shane McMahon To The Moon

Shane McMahon Fan GIF
WWE.com

We crunched the data.

We scoured the reaches of the Internet, in a market research exercise, to determine who to push as the focal point of WWE programming.

In the process, we happened upon several r/SquaredCircle threads that pointed towards a subjectively inconvenient - but objectively undeniable - truth:

"Shane McMahon sweats for the cause"; "Shane McMahon is hella cool at jumping off sh*t lol"; "Shane McMahon is by default the least odious member of his family, and that makes him good somehow"; "Shane McMahon isn't one of these vanilla midget morons who takes stupid bumps to get over - he starred in the Attitude Era!"

That settles it: we must push Shane McMahon. Strap the rocket to his back; the daft tw*t will jump off the moon, and nearly kill himself, and that is what is good. Under the sacred "You're supposed to hate heels, jackass, that is Wrestling 101" principle held dearly by idiots who don't know what they're talking about, Shane is the new top heel in WWE, and he can get Roman Reigns over...by dominating him for 10 minutes in Saudi Arabia in a regurgitation of an Authority angle which, while well-acted, is not really inspiring.

It is about as rousing as Hulk Hogan's 2018 "Watch what you're saying in private brothers or the brothers will catch you out brothers" locker room speech.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!