10 MORE TERRIBLE Decisions We Have Made As The Authority Of WWE
7. Repackaged Ember Moon As An ACTUAL F*CKING CHILD
Creative Writer 1: She's the War Goddess. Anything in that?"
Creative Writer 2: War Goddess...Goddess of War...God of War...have her play video games backstage!
On last week's SmackDown, Ember Moon, in the midst of a Nintendo Switch gaming session, for F*CK'S SAKE, was confronted backstage by Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville. Mandy told her to put down the "kiddie toy" and read about a "real-life superhero". What followed was possibly - possibly - the worst scripted line in WWE history.
"You mean super-villain. I saw what you guys did to Carmella in the Triple Threat match last week. You attacked her."
Super-villain.
Embarrassing trash. The absolute dirt-worst bit of wordplay to have ever found its way onto a word processing document. Embarrassing enough to inspire an actual existential crisis. Like, what are we doing with our lives? And which member of the WWE Universe wrote this? There are several young fans in our midst. Maybe one of the four year-olds did it. In the process, we somehow contrived to make Ember Moon look more like a child than Bayley did in 2017. We somehow contrived to make Ember Moon look more like a child than f*cking Nicholas.
After Mandy and Sonya sauntered off, Ember pitched an actual temper tantrum. She was wearing her red eye contacts at the time. Ember Moon looked, and this is no exaggeration, like a toddler in a Halloween costume. She was so hopped up on candy that her parents had to tell her she had to eat her dinner before she could have any more sweeties.
Ember Moon?
You mean Ice Sun.