10 MORE TERRIBLE Decisions We Have Made As The Authority Of WWE
6. Repackaged Aleister Black As A Pretentious English Literature Student
We liked vignettes back in the day, and we like Aleister Black. Black is an awesome, unique talent with a lethal-as-hell repertoire and a great character rich in graduating psychology. The fire inside surfaces when he is presented with a fierce challenge; it's great character work that lends itself to superb match-building.
And so we have quite sensibly created a backstory of sorts on behalf of the Dutch Destroyer. We say "of sorts", because we haven't a f*cking clue what he's talking about. The material is atrocious.
"Fear...is a...powerful and paralysing tool. And it is in...man's nature to...fear...what we don't understand. See my opponents try and...figure me out, and by the...time they think they do so, the referee has counted...one...two...three...in my favour."
Why emphasise the "my"? Why even specify that the referee has counted the fall in his favour?
"By the...time they think they do so, the referee has counted...one...two...three, as I have...lost the match...because they have...in fact...figured me out."
"By the...time they think they do so, the referee has counted...one...two...three, as I have...faded to...bla-ckuh...by...just...lying...down...myself."
Who thinks the sentence ends like that? Which one of you donkey-brained morons did this? Did we get a 15 year-old E-fedder to travel forward in time from 2004?
"And any hope of...conquering that fear has...simply left this earth."
Just say "gone".
Or just use this actually natural segue to get the "fade to black" catchphrase over.