8. The Blacktop Bully Vs. Dustin Rhodes - WCW Uncensored 1995
WCW Uncensored was a proto-Extreme Rules experiment.
A noble disaster fondly remembered as a so-bad-it’s-good sh*t-show, the first match of the evening barely warrants inclusion here, because the very word “ambitious” suggests something achievable—if the application matches the concept .
This was never going to work as an engaging pro wrestling contest, nor even a bad one. WCW asked two performers to construct a wrestling match while in transit. This was a LOLWCW idea, in that an unworkable, terrible idea was A) conceived, somehow B) discussed, C) not immediately rejected with a Jim Neidhart-sized cackle, D) actually approved and E) actually made it to air…
…in heavily edited form, because the hardway blood inevitable in a match that literally drove skin into metal contravened company policy.
The match drew F ratings, likely because the very first physical exchange—Rhodes, striving to win the match by honking a horn on an 18-wheeler, was met mid-climb with a forearm to the balls—saw the dastardly Bully fall backwards onto his a*se. Generating meaningful heat was impossible; even if a tour bus of fans watched along, they’d have pissed themselves. Wrestling was impossible.
Standing up was impossible.