10 Most Badass Wrestling Threats EVER
1. Minoru Suzuki Enriches Cheap Heat
Minoru Suzuki gets on the list twice because he's such a phenomenal promo that it would be worth learning every word in the Japanese language just to skip the pesky translation stage.
Do you know what's cheap?
The whole "This generation of wrestlers are soft" bit.
MJF uses his anti-spot monkey tirades to great effect because it sets his traditional, timeless approach to the form apart, but Dan Lambert is less convincing and indeed entertaining. There's a dissonance to the act, too, in that Scorpio Sky hardly works a grapplef*ck style. Minoru Suzuki perfected the art of the generational and philosophical divide during the 2018 World Tag League.
WWE prohibits itself from telling effective stories because - in addition to so much else - age is considered something that must be obscured with hair dye. Old, hard men are wrestling gold, particularly if they are curmudgeons.
Without using a single dreaded word pilfered from the toxic swamp of Twitter - flips, cosplayer, ...dive - Suzuki issued a simple, bone-chilling threat to the irreverent Chuck Taylor, who was dumb enough to confront Suzuki following a post-match beat-down:
"This isn't playtime. I will absolutely kill you, bastard."
The word "absolutely" is alarming here because Suzuki knows several different techniques to do precisely that with his bare hands.