10 Most INFURIATING WWE Quirks
7. Nickname City
To research this entry, we would open YouTube in a new tab, we would search for the latest Roman Reigns upload, and we would click on the highlights of Roman Reigns Vs. Sheamus from the February 12, 2018 Monday Night RAW.
"Roman Reigns exploding off the ropes, and takes out Sheamus," Michael Cole said, as Reigns floored Sheamus with a clothesline. "And now the Big Dog looking to rally!"
"Ooh! Big boot from the Celtic Warrior!" Corey Graves said, as Sheamus reassumed the advantage. As the match progressed, Reigns struck Sheamus with a sit-out powerbomb. He went for the cover. Sorry, Reigns went for the cover. "Cover! Is it enough for the Big Dog?" It was not. In order to win the match, Reigns would have to counter an aerial assault with a Spear. "Spear out of midair! What a collision! What a Spear! Cover! Hook of the leg! The Big Dog with the win!" roared Cole.
In addition to the panoply of cliches, the my-turn/your-turn structure of most TV matches means we are subjected to this marketing overdrive every bloody 30 seconds or so. The effect, once more, is one of drastic contrivance. The men in that ring are not pro wrestlers settling a personal conflict. They are walking, talking (not in their own words, obviously) brands. And who is WWE's Chief Brand Officer?
Of course, this barrage of nicknames is decreed because the mad old king hates...