7. Vince McMahons 80s/90s Obsession With Wrestlers Having Real World Jobs
Okay, fair enough I lied but this one was always going to rear its bowling-shoe-ugly head. Why anyone in the WWF didnt think to ask themselves why a wrestling NASCAR driver, a wrestling hockey player, a wrestling repo man or a wrestling sailor were likely to get over with their audience is beyond me. It literally makes no sense at all: wrestlers are supposed to be larger than life, to stand out in a crowd, to represent basic archetypes of good, evil and really really irritating. In that context, who cares whether the evil heel moonlights as a garbage man? Does that mean hes a bad garbage man? Does he leave your garbage at your house instead of picking it up? Does he deliberately bring more garbage to your house to add to the garbage that hes not picked up? Wait, when is he supposed to be doing these things, when hes also working as a full time wrestler? He wouldnt have time to pick up garbage at all! That would mean that babyface garbage men who wrestle full time would also be bad garbage men. Can a garbage man be a heel in their day job as a garbage man and a babyface in the ring? I suppose it depends on how badly your garbage stinks. Ive typed the word garbage so often here that its actually lost all meaning to me. These are not gimmicks that allow your wrestler to stand out from a crowd. These are gimmicks that give your wrestler a silly name, a silly costume and a silly catchphrase. Congratulations youve just hit on the formula for creating a character for a childrens newspaper comic strip.
Jack Morrell
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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
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