1. Paul Heyman
Paul Heyman, for all of his marketing talents and developmental genius, is one of the most infuriatingly obnoxious people on this or any other planet. Truly, there is no one more deserving of a "how do you do" to the kisser than the creative force behind Extreme Championship Wrestling. Of anyone on this list, Paul Heyman is the most responsible for broadening the professional wrestling industry and turning it into what it is today. And that's why it kind of breaks my heart to want to uppercut him in his double chin every time he appears in front of the camera. This is the kind of duality I don't wish on anyone. Paul Heyman looks like a cross between the time travel-assisted offspring of Paul Giamatti and Alfred Hitchcock, but if Giamatti was a pug and Hitchcock was made entirely of old cheese. Paul Heyman has many facial expressions, but in sign language they all translate to "Punch me in my f*cking face for all of eternity, you guys." Paul E. goes beyond being just punchable. He's hit-in-the-mouth-with-a-wrench-able. He's don't-stop-punching-until-he's-goop-able. He's...well, you get it.