10 Most Totally Random WWE Matches Ever

1. Sgt. Slaughter Vs. Cesaro - RAW 2012

Chad Gable Shane McMahon
WWE.com

Whenever a pro wrestler was needed to symbolise the United States of America to get the heat on a dastardly anti-American heel, Sgt. Slaughter was there.

It's very weird that he was there in 2012 as a very decrepit geezer, granted, but he was there nonetheless. Slaughter felt compelled to defend the hallowed ground and rid it of a...

...cultured gentleman who could speak five languages fluently.

Was Sgt. Slaughter best equipped for the job? What's American about disrespecting the military? Oh wait, it's something that connects him to the highest office in the land. Scrub the question. Slaughter looked like he had bone spurs on the December 31, 2012 Monday Night RAW. In fairness to the man, he was 83 years old when it took place.

The-then 'Antonio' Cesaro summoned Slaughter, and after a pre-match spiel that wasn't even inflammatory, he defended his United States Title against him on 'Champion's Choice Night'. Cesaro "chose" to go over a dinosaur in a crap moment of passé cheap heat.

There wasn't much to it, obviously - a Cobra clutch pop, and an escape into a Neutraliser - but we did learn from Cesaro's swift and decisive victory that he was better, literally, than America itself.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!