10 Most Unnatural Dustin Rhodes Moments

In the most infamous Shattered Dreams production, Marlena, who was as prolific a director as Spielberg, directed Goldust in the sexually intense ‘Piper’s Pit’.

In his own mock-up of Piper’s Pit, Goldust stared seductively into the camera’s lens and united fans in making everyone uncomfortable. Some of Goldust’s flirtatious schtick has aged horribly due to a heavy reliance on the character's ambiguous sexuality; this promo in contrast derives its discomfort from its confessional, voyeuristic divulgence of teenage lust. Goldust referenced how "huge" Roddy Piper used to be and how some of his earliest teenage fantasies derived from watching Roddy’s Pit segments, adding he "hung on [Piper’s] every word as each syllable spilled from [his] luscious lips".

Goldust pushed the envelope of decency further when he sexualised the classic moment when Piper "exploded" a coconut over the head of ‘Superfly’ Jimmy Snuka. Goldust recalled "sinking deeper and deeper into [his] own sea of ecstasy" as he watched at home. In case audiences were left wondering, he continued, "I myself erupted with pleasure like a rock-hard mountain of lust." Not letting up, he turned his attention to Piper’s "skirt" and the "many hours of quality time alone" contemplating what was underneath. Piper’s Scottish gimmick needed one final indignity: Goldust suggestively sucking on a bagpipe.

‘Piper’s Pit’ was by far the most memorable, surreal, and twisted promo delivered by Dustin Rhodes as Goldust.