10 Most Unwatchable Wrestling Matches Ever

2. The Mega Powers vs TATEH (WCW Uncensored 1996)

uncensored 1996
WWE.com

Variously referred to as a Doomsday Cage, a Tower of Doom or a Triple Decker, the Triple Cage match here takes place in a three-story cage, the bottom of which covers the ring.

The story went that the Mega Powers, Hulk Hogan and €˜the Macho Man€™ Randy Savage had challenged whichever of the show€™s heels wanted to team against them to a match that would redefine the concept of the blow-off cage match. So all of them turned up, naming themselves The Alliance To End Hulkamania, or TATEH for short.

Mass confusion was the order of the day. Half the time the commentators couldn€™t fully understand what was going on, as it was practically impossible to see what was happening even with a full camera crew and a professional TV production. The live audience were hopelessly lost, as half of the action was twenty feet or more in the air, and usually fully obscured by a mass of metalwork.

And then there were the performers themselves, wrestlers of varying size, shape and ability, none of whom had any idea what they were supposed to be doing in there to kill time until the next door opened. No one really understood how you were supposed to win the match, but if you manage to sit through the entire thing, it becomes obvious at a certain point - like seeing the image inside a Magic Eye picture - that the bad guys don€™t get to win.

Seriously. Hogan and Savage just have to find their way out of the cages. The heels, like end of level bad guys, are already sitting in those cages waiting for them. The heels€™ only objective is to brutalise the babyfaces. They can€™t actually win the match by doing that, and no one figures this out at any point during the course of the match.

Why would they? The Mega Powers are clearly going over, so why stitch in a way for the villains to beat them?It€™s one of the biggest clusterf*cks in wrestling history, and it€™s not even the worst match in this article.

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Contributor

Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.