10 Most Unwatchable Wrestling Matches Ever

5. Bret Hart Vs. Mr. McMahon (WrestleMania XXVI)

bret hart vince mcmahon
WWE.com

On the first Monday Night RAW of 2010, Bret €˜The Hitman€™ Hart returned after twelve years away from the WWF/E, and the crowd lost their minds. He€™d returned to put the events of the infamous Montreal Screwjob behind him, and was true to his word: he made up with Shawn Michaels, and attempted to do so with Vince McMahon.

Vince McMahon kicked Bret Hart right in the Hitman.

After weeks of back and forth, attacks and counterattacks, it was agreed to settle the thing at WrestleMania in a No Holds Barred match. On the night itself, however, McMahon revealed that€™d he€™d purchased some insurance: Hart€™s whole estranged family, there to act as lumberjacks and give the two of them some quality time together.

Of course, anyone who knew enough about Bret Hart in 2010 to have gleefully waited nearly thirteen years for him to give McMahon his well-deserved comeuppance also knew that Bret Hart physically and legally couldn€™t wrestle a match, or even take on any form of proper beating, worked or otherwise.

He'€™d been invalided out of wrestling with post-concussion syndrome years earlier, had accepted an insurance payout with the condition that he never wrestle again, and had had a stroke since then as well. That meant that the match was never going to be any kind of competitive back and forth.

So naturally the Harts change sides and support Bret as he takes Vince to pieces. And that'€™s just what he does: deliver a long, sustained, slow beatdown over a long, long time. The whole thing goes on for eleven minutes or so, in fact. That may not seem like ages, but when the only thing you€™re watching is one slow-moving old guy beat up an even older guy, it€™s forever.

Supposedly, Vince planned the beatdown to go on for this long because he intended it to turn him babyface: he anticipated that the crowd would begin to turn in his favour.

I€™'m not sure whether that€™s true or not, but if so it certainly didn'€™t happen the way he envisaged it would...

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Contributor

Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.