1. The Ultimate Warrior, Because Of Course It Is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXNvusFPsBQ The former Jim Hellwig was and is legendary for his hilariously nonsensical promos, delivered with grunts, groans and roars, often with his back to camera while flexing and staring up at the unchanging stars. Mixed metaphors, portmanteau words and neologisms, content straight out of a bad seventies fantasy novel sense made they none. Many people are under the mistaken impression that the late Warrior simply couldnt talk. Bolstered by his characters image as a rope-shaking, perma-snarling human human growth hormone, many simply assumed that the man behind the gimmick was an incoherent brainwrong. Far from it: Warrior was many things, not least the kind of person who would legally change a cool name like Jim Hellwig to Warrior *, but a mental cruiserweight was not one of them. He was in character the whole time, and loved people being utterly bamboozled by his promos. Behold: his infamous crash the plane promo. Awe-inspiring. Hey, if someone tried working The Ultimate Warrior's gimmick before he did, would that make them The Penultimate Warrior? Asking for a friend. * A little known fact about Warrior is that he originally legally changed his name from Keith Jones to Jim Hellwig, after the place he spent most of his time and his nickname for his own hair. This little known fact has since been proven to be a lie, made up just now for the purposes of this article. Whats your favourite nonsensical, WTF promo in pro wrestling? Tell us all about it in the comments!
Jack Morrell
Contributor
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
See more from
Jack