WWE have a history of choosing to have male wrestlers compete under a surname, dropping the first name they were initially given to appear stronger and more masculine... or something. Im actually not sure what the rationale is. I get it with the Divas: ever since Sunny, WWEs mindset with their female talent has been that their peers should be supermodels like Iman and pop stars like Shakira, not athletes like Serena Williams or fighters like Ronda Rou--I mean, Holly Holm. But with the guys? Is there a pop culture tradition of surname-only hard men that I dont know about? It started with Goldberg in WCW in the late nineties then Batista in the mid-2000s, and now every other male wrestler debuting on the main roster is referred to by his surname alone, like a gaggle of head prefects at some snobby public school. Cesaro, Rusev, Barrett, Neville: all lost their Antonios, their Alexanders, their Wades and their Adrians; and yet Del Rio is still lumbered with the Alberto. Now, Alberto Del Rio literally means noble and bright, from the river, which (if anyone cared about that) would technically fit with the aristocratic vibe the character is supposed to give off but theres nothing cool about Alberto. It sounds incredibly nerdy. I mean, Alberto is the guy who you bully into writing your biology term paper for you, not the prom king quarterback. Del Rio, on the other hand, sounds like royalty but rakish, devil-may-care royalty, the kind of ruler that drinks with his men and is really really good with a sword. Del Rio is a pirate prince, a swashbuckler who takes nothing seriously except wine and fighting. You know the type Im on about. He can probably fly a helicopter, and he once fought an axe-wielding bear to a draw. Drop the Alberto, WWE. You know it makes sense.
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
